Thursday, October 15, 2009

Scooter Culture

Living in Taiwan is an interesting cultural experience no matter which way you cut it.  Driving in Taiwan is not only an interesting cultural experience, but also a surefire way to raise your blood pressure whenever you get on the road.



Many of the things I see while on my scooter are frustrating.  It is evident that driving in Taiwan is not nearly as safe as it could be, and it’s irritating that my fellow scooter drivers fail to do anything about this.  You have to watch all planes and dimensions at the same time; there will be people in front of you, behind you, and on both sides cutting you off or turning into you or just expecting that you’ll be able to read their mind and move accordingly so the two inches separating you won’t become less and cause an accident.  They also consistently run red lights.  And start driving before the red light turns green.  And they make illegal right- and left-hand turns.  So you do the math: drivers running a red light + drivers moving forward while the light is still red + illegal turns = ???

On the other hand, there are also several incredibly amusing things I see on my scooter.  One of the more entertaining of these is when you see entire families on scooters.  I’m not talking two or even three people—I’m talking about an entire four-person family.  Picture this: Dad drives.  Mom sits behind Dad.  Also keep in mind that scooters are rather small and it’s only really feasible for two people to be on them at the same time.  Now imagine Mom holding a newborn baby in her arms—helmetless, of course, since helmets don’t come in that size.  And now put another small child in front of Dad, standing on the floor of the scooter (also helmetless).  If you have done this exercise correctly, you now understand how it is possible to find entire families on extraordinarily small 125 cc-scooters in Taiwan.

Another sight that always gets me is when I see dogs riding scooters.  Just today I saw a woman scooting about with her two huskies chilling on the floor of her scooter.  I’ve also seen dogs in baskets on the floors of scooters.  Or dogs in the small baskets that are attached to the fronts of scooters (very Euro and cool, I know, you don’t have to tell me).  By far my favorite dog/scooter sighting, though, was when I saw a small dog standing on his owner’s lap with its front paws on the handlebars of the scooter.  Tongue lolling about, the whole deal.  And his owner was just hanging out, scooting along down the street.  The most remarkable aspect of all of this is that the dogs never leave the scooter.  There is no barrier holding them in.  They have no leashes.  They just sit on the scooter, even while at a full stop, unless their owner bids them leave.

Another ETA, Katherine, has made several interesting scooter observations.  I could not have written it better, nor with more humor, so I am including what she wrote for your amusement.  Enjoy!

After studying Taiwan's traffic laws for my driver's test, I feel I know the system fairly well.  After two weeks of careful firsthand observation and experience of Kaohsiung traffic, I now thoroughly understand the traffic laws for motorbikes (scooters). Here is the list.

1. A red light means stop. Unless you are turning right. Or left. Or the road is wet so it's dangerous to try to stop. Or the road is dry so you think stopping would be too easy. Or the traffic pulls you through the light. Or you don't see the light. Or you don't feel like stopping. Other than these rare exceptions, a red light means stop.

2. Scooters are not allowed on the sidewalk. Unless it is an emergency. Or you are parking. Or you are driving to a parking space. Or there is too much traffic on the road. Or the sidewalk is more convenient. Other than that, stay off the sidewalk.

3. Scooters should always stop behind the crosswalk line, leaving the crosswalk clear. Unless there are too many people IN the crosswalk, in which case you should go around them. Or through them. Or unless the light is going to turn green in eighty seconds or so, and you want to stay ahead of traffic. Or you are only going one more block, and getting ahead of the crosswalk will save you eight milliseconds when the light turns green. Otherwise, stop behind the crosswalk.

4. All passengers on a scooter must wear a helmet. This law does not apply to dogs, pigs, cats, six-year-olds and any person "just going around the corner and down the street to buy beer." Otherwise, you must wear a helmet.

5. In tunnels, slow traffic should stay to the right. Unless you ride a bicycle, in which case you should weave back and forth across the narrow lane of the tunnel to ensure that all scooter traffic behind you maintains a consistent pace of fifteen kmh.

6. The scooter lane is strictly for scooters. And bicycles. And pedestrians. And cars turning right. And cars turning left. And taxis. And lobotomy patients driving expensive cars very slowly while swerving right with their left turn signal on. And trucks filled with live pigs. Otherwise, strictly scooters.

7. The scooter lane speed limit is 40 kmh. Or whatever speed prevents instant death. In the mornings this varies between dead stop and 65 kmh. Otherwise, 40 kmh. Which I'm sure is strictly enforced. On Sunday afternoons. Between 3:05 and 3:18.

8. Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way. They know this. They enjoy exercising their right to right of way by stepping out into the street without looking, walking down the middle of the road to avoid dirtying the sidewalk, and waiting for a green light before crossing four lanes of traffic. Fortunately, no matter how many scooter brakes they destroy, they still have the right of way.

9. You must have a license to drive a scooter in Taiwan. Unless you don't. Then you must not get caught by a policeman while driving your scooter. Otherwise, you must have a license. ;-)

Exhibit A

I now present further evidence proving how highly regarded English teachers are: Yesterday, I had four classes.  The first three passed without incident.  The fourth class never showed up.  My co-teacher, Lucy, called down to their classroom to see what the delay was -- there was no answer.  We later found out that five or six of the students in that class had the swine flu and so the class got canceled.  No one told us.