The Second Sex

Having spent a little bit of time in China, I think it’s time I wrote a post on Chinese women. Well, I plan to talk about the men too, but my focus is mainly on the women.

One of the things that greatly surprised me here was just how affectionate young couples are with each other. Before arriving in China, it was my impression that China was rather stuck in its traditional roots. That is, polite, conservative, and exceptionally modest. Much to my surprise, though, the streets are littered with couples – and they don’t even make a play at trying to hide it. They cuddle, hold hands, and wrap their arms around each other in plain view of everyone (and we’re in China, so everyone encompasses a lot of people). This tends to give the impression that the entire country is coupled up, and I, the lone foreigner, am the only single female in the entire country.

As far as these relationships go, the men are very protective of the women. They reserve seats on the bus for them; they carry their bags; they shield them from the crowds; they pay for everything. They do their best to ensure that their female counterparts are as sheltered as possible and have to do absolutely nothing even minimally strenuous.

In terms of appearance, I think many Chinese males take greater care with their looks than American ones. There are some crazy hairdos out here – a whole head of Asian hair sticking straight out from their heads, like a gigantic Asian afro. It must take hours to do. And just imagine trying to sleep! The girls are gorgeous and glamorous, every last one of them. They all wear boots, and if they happen to not be wearing boots, they’re wearing heels. Their hair is beautiful, done up in some complex design that I couldn’t mimic if I tried. They’re all fashionistas; I’m not even sure the girls in Europe are stylish on this grand of a scale. On top of all that, they’re unbelievably slim. And utterly ageless. The 30-year-olds look like they’re 20. It’s crazy.

Another interesting observation: I have not yet met a Chinese male that does not smoke. However, I have never seen a Chinese woman smoke. Why this is I cannot fathom; I’ll have to ask a Chinese person before getting a definitive answer. However, for some strange reason, only the men smoke. Never the women.

Now, back to the dating scene. I have been informed that people here date to marry, unlike many Americans, who date to date. There is a huge push in this country toward marriage, and the population acts accordingly. So (forgive me, my experience in this particular category is rather limited), as far as I have seen, when a Chinese woman finds a man expressing any interest, she latches on to him and holds on for dear life. The girls are quite persistent and tend to ignore disinterested hints. For example, consider exhibit A, currently dating one of my fellow USAC students. A was very quick to declare her love for this fellow, whom I shall henceforth refer to as B. A also told B that she would wait for him – that is, for him to go back to America, finish school, do whatever he needs to do, etc. B, on the other hand, was very clear that once he’s gone, it’s over.

Or consider C, who was invited once by another USAC student (henceforth referred to as D) to spend some time with him. D decided he wasn’t interested; C didn’t get the hint. Some time later, they exchanged a series of text messages along these lines:

C: I would like to improve my English. Could you help me by being my language partner?
D: I’m afraid I can’t. However, I have a friend who is willing to help you out. Why don’t you get in touch with her?
C: Great! I’m so glad you are able to help me with my English.

As the exchange most likely occurred in Chinese, I find misinterpretation unlikely.

The last thing I’d like to mention is a note on body types. For example, consider me. No matter how much weight I lost (not to worry, I’m not planning on it), I would probably still only ever fit in to size 5 pants, which is not an issue in the slightest. This, as we have seen, is largely a function of my American hips. Chinese women, on the other hand, have very slight frames. When they are fully filled out, they’re still usually only about a size 0. Regardless, many of the Chinese women I know are still quite fixated on their weight (it seems to be the same the world over – or at least in America, France, and China). That being said, women under about the age of 40 or so are all still super-skinny. Even over the age of 40, they’re not overly large; some of them have just filled out a little bit. On the other hand, once men hit the age of 20, they’re allowed to fill out. In fact, I haven’t met many Chinese men over the age of 20 who aren’t a bit chubby.

It’s all very curious.

Pictures (at last! Sorry to be so slow):

1. The beautiful baozi of deliciousness, from my favorite baozi stand (three for just one kuai!). I often get a few on my way to school. I'll write more about these marvelous creations in further posts. Probably with another picture.i

2. The guqin I've talked so much about!

3. This is the kitchen Liz and I scrubbed for hours. If you look closely, you can see a black travel mug to the left of the sink. I also take this to school with me every day, generally filled with tea. This is the second best purchase I have made in China (the best being my space heater).

4. The end of the Spring Festival is celebrated with a Lantern Festival. This is a picture from Chengdu's.

5. Lovely shot of the living room. If you look past the stairs, there are two doors. The door on the right (it's open) is my room. The one next to it is Liz's room.

6. A truly excellent shot of my room and desk... er, bed. Sometimes it's hard to tell the two apart. Especially since I don't have the former.