One for the money, Two for the show...

Once, a long time ago, during the Tang dynasty, in a homely thatched cottage in the quiet little village of Chengdu, there lived a poet named Dufu.

Dufu was not just any ordinary poet. He was a special poet! “I am special,” he proclaimed, “because one day, many years from now, some American students will stand on a stage for a Spring Festival performance and speak my sacred words with their ghastly American accents.”

And so it was destined to be! Of course, who would I be to ignore destiny? So it was, and so it shall ever be: I stood up on a stage, in front of a moderately large crowd, in front of TV cameras, in front of reporters, and recited for all who cared to hear Dufu’s poem “Chun Ye Xi Yu” (“In the Spring Night Comes the Good Rain”).

Truth be told, it was quite a production. There were famous people there and everything! I even had to arrive early so they could do me up in fine Asian fashion. In that regard, I felt a little silly – try as I might, I just don’t look Chinese. No matter how much make-up you cake on my face, there’s no hiding my distinctly Jewish nose, my light blue eyes, or my curly brown hair. Or those American hips, come to think of it.

A quick note on those hips: you may recall the people we bought the qipao from were supposed to alter it for me. Imagine my surprise when I tried it on the night before the big show and realized I still looked like I was drowning in a sea of red and gold. However, Liz, bless her innovativeness, sewed up the sides in red thread so it fit a little better.

Back to the show. The first act was the one that impressed me most. It involved young children (apparently training to be acrobats) doing more or less a whole acrobatic show in the space of five minutes. They tumbled, jumped through hoops, and there was even a tiny little contortionist. I was totally floored. My mouth gaped open as I watched these young kids dressed in rat costumes (for this is the year of the rat) performing feats it took others years to perfect. On top of that, they were super cute, which definitely gave them some extra points.

There were also a number of really beautiful dances. I made friends with one of the dancers, dressed in a bright yellow imitation sari, and we got our picture taken together. The other highlights were a well-known opera singer performing a Beijing opera piece and two very famous voice artists (known for their dubbing work) reciting more of Dufu’s poems.

Well, let me tell you, we poor Americans were certainly the underdogs here. We may have looked pretty, but our recitation skills and our pronunciation were just not up to snuff. And we got criticized in the city paper the next day just for that. Our names were in the paper along with phrases like “non-standard pronunciation” and so on. Ah well.

That aside, though, I did feel a little bit like a local celebrity. As I walked out after the show, I got a number of stares from people who had seen me on stage. I even caught one couple photographing me! Well, once I caught them in the act they decided to be a little more candid about it and just asked if they could take a picture of me. I obliged, as celebrities sometimes do, and posed with the photographer’s wife.

A last note on the qipao – unfortunately, I was not permitted to keep it. So when our act was over, I put on my normal clothes, and very calmly and quietly cut out the stitches Liz had been so kind to put in for me. At least I still have the memories! And the pictures, of course, which I now offer up to you.



Pictures! (My apologies if they're not in order)

1. Me in the five pounds of make-up they put on my face.

2. Get a load of that slit!

3. One of the dances

4. I just loved those gorgeous costumes! Especially the red one.

5. On stage, being interviewed by the hosts after reciting our poem. Yes, we were being interviewed in Chinese in front of a Chinese audience. And yes, it was stressful, and yes, I froze up a little bit.

6. The girl I made friends with doing her dance

7. The tiny acrobats!

8. Plum blossoms at Dufu's cottage

9. One of the dances I particularly liked. Apparently it was based on one of Dufu's poems. Notice that the man has the fan and the woman has the sword. I was especially fond of that aspect of it.


10. Another shot of the make-up. By this point, I'd already gotten rid of half of it.