Saturday, December 26, 2009

Adventure #37.5: Rebekah vs. Acute Tonsillitis (a.k.a. “You are sick man!”)

As an addendum to my previous post, I would like to say that I am fully recovered from the swine flu.  Unfortunately, as soon as I rid myself of the swine flu, I found that I had contracted another wonderfully pleasant ailment—acute tonsillitis.  You may imagine just how flabbergasted I was to have gotten over one disease only to come down with another.  My exchange with the physician, in a mixture of English and Chinese, went something like this:

Me: Acute Tonsillitis?!
Doctor: Yes!
Me: Wonderful.  (Note that this was said steeped in sarcasm.)
Doctor: Wonderful?
Me: I mean… terrible!  Very bad!  (Native Chinese speakers have no concept of sarcasm because the language is inflectionless; Americans tend to forget this on a regular basis.)
Doctor: Okay!
Me: But… acute tonsillitis?  Why?
Doctor: Because you are sick man!

I can only conclude that he meant that my immune system was weaker than usual, dealing as it had been with the swine flu.  I would also like to state for the record that I am not, in fact, a sick man.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Adventure #37: Rebekah vs. the Swine Flu

Actually, in these faraway parts, they tend to refer to it as H1N1. And I don’t know why this is my 37th adventure, exactly, except that 37 is prime and I am predisposed to favor primes. In fact, the only reason I’m not looking forward to turning 24 is because it means I will no longer be a prime number.

In somewhat recent news, I have been to the East and back. In fact, it was more like the Northeast, and it was beautiful. As we were there on a super top-secret mission, I submit to you my case report, despite it’s highly classified nature. It’ll be our little secret, right? You, me, and the whole of the internet. It’s flawless.

MISSION NAME: Super Top-Secret Be-A-Tourist-In-Taroko-Gorge Trip
Agents in question: Grace. Kristin. Kaitlyn. Rebekah.
Location: Taroko Gorge. Marble Gorge located in northeastern Taiwan. Top tourist destination.
Related activities: Hiking. Scootering. Touristing. Tasting pickled flowers.
Relevant details: Turquoise-colored waters. Magnificent views. Fresh mountain air. Peace and quiet. Long hikes up mountainsides. Birds. Flowers. Suspension bridges. Millet wine.
Photographic evidence: See below.

Agent Grace in Full Super Top-Secret Regalia.


The gorge.


A subpar shot of water that is much more turquoise in real life.


Suspension Bridge.


Agents Grace, Kristin, and Kaitlyn, testing the soundness of the suspension bridge.

Getting back now to Adventure #37, I speak the truth. Of all the ETAs, I am the first to fall prey to this dread disease. It’s not so dread, really, more like a pretty average case of the flu, but I tend to repel people like a bad case of leprosy. It is a situation chock-full of irony, as the most likely way that I caught it was from children, and I don’t even really like children. Ah, well. I’m in Taiwan! Taiwanese people get the swine flu all the time. And you know what they say: “When in Rome….”

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Ode to a Convenience Store

O 7-11, O wondrous place,
You fill my life with light and grace.
Whatever I need, you always sell,
Which certainly helps my life go well.

If I’m in need of spirits, fear not!
7-11 has got a lot.
If I need to pay my bill,
Hie to 7-11 I will.

If I need a raincoat (whoa),
Then straight to 7-11 I go.
What if I’m craving something sweet?
Or I need caffeine, fatigue to beat?

Perhaps my cell phone’s out of money,
Or I’m in need of milk and honey.
Whatever the cause, whatever the case,
7-11 is my home base.

O 7-11, O heavenly dove,
For you I must declare my love!